Home > Miscellaneous > >Beware of inexpensive office shredders

>Beware of inexpensive office shredders


So a colleague at work decides that we need a paper shredder in our new office.

It’s true.

Our office was sans shredder and thus incomplete and unfulfilled in its officeness.

He sees one in the local ALDI store at the quite reasonable price of $69. It’s sold under the brand OfficePro. We don’t need to shred heaps of stuff and it looks OK what with terrific features like confetti cut and separate slot for CDs and credit cards so he buys it.

Here’s the front cover of the box:

(click to embiggen)

He takes it out of the box, sets it up as per the instructions and places it on the floor next to the fax machine.

Wanting to test his new toy he turns it on, grabs a bit of paper and sticks it in the top.

The noise that emanated from the thing sounded like this:

Actually, it sounded much like a duck, having pissed off Saddam Hussein, being fed through a tree shredder at Abu Ghraib.

It certainly was unexpected, especially given what is clearly stated on the side of the box:

Having not read the instructions he then decided to see how many bits of paper it could handle so he grabbed 10 or 12 and stuck them in at which point it became necessary to work out how to use the reverse function.

A quick perusal of what passed for a user manual indicated a maximum of 7 pages at a time.

Clearly, in China they have much thinner paper than the 80gsm of standard office paper. 5 pages is more like the limit.

Well, at least the motor is durable if not quiet. Right?

Not according to the separate piece of paper found in the instruction manual.

How good is that, eh?

A whole two minutes of shredding before getting a 30 minute break.

It must have a labour agreement with the auto unions.

So a shredder sold under the brand OfficePro and featuring a “durable quiet motor” turns out not to be suitable for an office and has neither a durable nor a quiet motor.

I wonder how long it will last?

(Nothing Follows)
Categories: Miscellaneous
  1. February 2, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    >We’re Being Screwed over by the Chicoms , and what makes matters even worse is that we are actively inviting them to screw us in our own homes.Favorite trading Partner? Yeah Right..and they practice slave labor .The Evidence is in the Dead Dogs and Cats from pet food , Dead Babies from milk powder , Using poisonous materials in producing Childrens toys and god who knows what else that we import from the Chicoms.It’s time to tell them to keep their wonderful Chinese products for themselves .

  2. February 2, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    >Sounds like you got a pretty bad deal on that one. I think that the German engineered shredders work the best. Though they are not quite as cheap it is actually possible to get something that does what it says it does. If you want to find a reasonable shredder that actually works you can look at http://www.monomachines.com. They have machines from several different brands and you can even call the 800 number and find out the decibel level so you know how loud it actually is.

  3. February 3, 2009 at 12:27 am

    >Sorry to hear about the crappy paper shredder… however, the part that led up to the duck picture made me giggle! 🙂

  4. February 3, 2009 at 2:03 am

    >Oh, so funny! Especially the comparison to the auto union workers. It made me laugh out loud.I’m so glad I found your website a few weeks ago. I’m currently reading The Chicken Little Agenda.I hope you get more exposure on the Internet.

  5. February 3, 2009 at 8:49 am

    >JackLac, surely you must remember the “Rule of Seven”?This is the law of physics that says no matter how big, small or thin the sheet of paper, the most times you will be able to fold it in half is seven!When you put more than seven sheets at once into a shredder, it fucks up, OK?This is Kaboom’s Law. How it co-relates to the “Rule of Seven”* is beyond me.*The “Rule of Seven” is an economics concept, and anyone interested should Google it.Basically, an investment compounded at 7% will double in 10 years, and an investment compounded at 10% will double in 7 years.I think……

  6. February 22, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    >Pretty funny post and I bet that you are not alone. There is def. no way that the machines can really do the amount of paper that they say. Not sure if you’ve seen some of the new Fellowes Shredders, but they have this feature where it actually won’t even let you put in more paper than it can handle. I haven’t tried it out, but it seems to make sense to stop the user from putting in too much paper in the first place. I think I say a few other shredder brands that do something like this, but can’t remember exactly which ones.

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